World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Euro 2012 Traffic Report: Thataway” plus 2 more

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• The Euro 2012 Traffic Report: Thataway
• Now Standing: ‘Roy the Redeemer’
• The Long Chomp Of Hooliganism Defense

The Euro 2012 Traffic Report: Thataway Posted: 07 Jun 2012 11:59 AM PDT As you may know, SBNation picked up The Offside & WCB last year(quick – up top and to the right). While awaiting the full switch-over (it’s a process), as a way of simply keeping things ticking, updates do arrive on these shores from time to time and will continue to do so throughout the tournament. (Mmhmm.) But, they are – Vox Media, really – the overlords, doin’ all the big things, being all mainstream and stuff. Outside of the excellent ladies and gents to your right, as you already well know, they’ll be covering the hryvnia out of the Euros, so here’s a link to the specific European Championships 2012 coverage and you should spend the rest of your day risking unemployment by absorbing all that good European football info before your brain melts come kickoff tomorrow. And yes, they’re excellent. You should be there anyway. Whatsamattayou?

Now Standing: ‘Roy the Redeemer’ Posted: 07 Jun 2012 10:43 AM PDT This is marketing genius at its finest, surely. What is the most ludicrously asinine thing one could do, well, ever? How ’bout erecting a temporary 100ft structure depicting Roy Hodgson as England’s Christ the Redeemer on the shores of Dover, facing France with some ‘tude. Paddy Power went and did it, which is just about the best damn ad campaign ever. And make no mistake: if England wins, a mecca it shall become.

The Long Chomp Of Hooliganism Defense Posted: 07 Jun 2012 10:34 AM PDT With the games kicking off in less than 24 hours now, many fine upstanding young hooligans are preparing for their days of glory. The fan zone could soon become a war zone, considering some of the host cities have behavioral issues to say the least. The police, particularly those in Krakow, have unfurled the whole bag of tricks to reveal video game-type tactics on the other end. “Krakow has a long history of hooligan violence — the local police have seen it all before and they will ruin your day if you try it on. “These lads’ mums and dads rioted under Soviet machine guns — a few chairs thrown by beered-up fans is not going to intimidate them. “Do not expect softly, softly police tactics. “Poland’s anti-hooligan squads are armed with: Shotguns firing baton rounds that probably won’t kill you as long as you’re 30m away, a truck-mounted water cannon affectionately known as 'the typhoon’, a high-tech sonic cannon that can make you wet yourself on its lowest setting, dogs trained to bite you directly in the testicles.” So that’s… A protective gentleman’s cup. Ear plugs. Wet suit. An extra pair of undies. Tape measure. Just as one would expect of the hooligan’s survival kit.

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World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Official Euro 2012 Music Video” plus 1 more

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The Official Euro 2012 Music Video Posted: 06 Jun 2012 04:55 PM PDT This is the official video of the official song for UEFA Euro 2012, which you’d know without being told as it’s quite clear that the images of Poland and the Ukraine are displayed by a hut on a beach. Because that’s the first thing which always comes to mind when those countries are entered into the discussion. (They do get to the more identifiable parts of the two countries eventually.) She’s rather popular, so there’s little controversy to be had here until K’Naan drops in to crash the party.

Those Toxic European Threads Posted: 06 Jun 2012 03:49 PM PDT There are due to be hundreds of dodgy replica shirts floating around the consumer industry; those made of various narcotics will filter their way through the seedy underbelly of the football world, as well as an footballers knowing they won’t be nabbing a urine test. Some may spontaneously combust in the stands. Others may become just a little bit too porous as the game wears on. The makeup of these replica shirts is suspect, to say the least. Which means one will have to wear a Hazmat suit underneath. Football fans buying replica shirts of their favourite Euro 2012 team could be risking their health, Europe’s consumer watchdog has warned. The shirts of tournament co-host Poland are so bad they should be banned, said BEUC, the umbrella group representing the EU’s national consumer organisations. Research into the chemicals used in official team strips in Poland, Spain, Germany, Russia, Ukraine, Italy, France, Holland and Portugal, showed all nine national shirts contained “worrying” levels of chemicals. Lead, a heavy metal, was found in the team strip of six of the countries – Spain, Germany, Ukraine, Russia, France and Italy. In kits from Spain and Germany, lead exceeded the legal level for children’s products and Portuguese and Dutch shirts also contained nickel. Weren’t these things supposed to be made out of green materials and recycled hippies?

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