Can darkness coexist with light? Can good work alongside evil? Can heaven and hell mesh together to create a place which is not purgatory?
Both France and Italy are known to be interested in hosting the Euro 2016 championships, but what we didn’t know is that they’re so keen they’re contemplating a joint bid for the games. Yes, that’s two bitter rivals on the pitch scheming off of it to spend the next seven years working in unison to organize one of the world’s biggest sporting events.
Surely they must be joking?
Surely not:
Bernard Laporte, France’s secretary for sport, told L’Equipe: “It’s the federation who will decide and it will do what it wants. But me, I prefer to share and to win.
“I hear people speaking of this idea of a joint organisation and we will talk about it during our meeting (with his Italian counterparts).
“The ideal thing would be to go it alone but if an association is the price to pay and if we can’t do anything else, I would not put any obstacles in front of it.”
French Football Federation president Jean-Pierre Escalettes insists his country have the potential to organise a European Championships by themselves but appears open to the idea of submitting a joint bid, as a last resort.
I don’t think there’s any question each country can easily hold their own tournament. France has done so within the last dozen years and a major tournament would be a good, and perhaps necessary, excuse to overhaul some of Italy’s archaic stadiums.
But why would they? Well, lots of reasons. First off, the chances of winning the selection lotto would increase immeasurably. Then there’s the obvious quality of taking the best stadiums and cities from two of Europe’s biggest nations. Swissaustria was nice, but Francalia it ain’t (nickname still very much a work in progress). Plus there’s never been a tournament jointly held between two countries of such magnitude - both generally and in footballing terms. That in itself has to count for something. There are also the financial considerations of splitting the bill yet reaping the benefits of constant travel between the countries. The list goes on and on.
That doesn’t mean it ’s without those involved who are, unsurprisingly, opposed to the concept:
“France doesn’t need anybody,” he said. “We are big enough to organise a world event. We have the ability, the experience. It is a question of prestige.”
Feel free to break out the armchair psychiatrist with that one.
There is one problem, however - well, there are lots of potential problems, but right this second this stands out as the most glaring of options - who hosts the final? Flip a coin? Rochambeau? Do the uefa powers force Les Blues and gli Azzurri to play a “friendly” and the winner gains the final? And what happens when William Gallas headbutts Gennaro Gattuso only for Ivan to scalp Gallas on the spot?
And what happens when the cosmoses align and these two teams inevitably meet in the knockouts, sparking World War III?
Yes, this can only go well.
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