World Cup 2010 Blog: Why Russia Should Not Host World Cup 2018

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Why Russia Should Not Host World Cup 2018 Posted: 23 Aug 2010 11:30 AM PDT England and Russia are two of the front-runners to host World Cup 2018, and FIFA are in England this week assessing the English bid. I’m an England fan and therefore biased, but I’m now 100% sure Russia should not be hosting the World Cup eight years from now. I have no idea how long the above banner – in which racist Lokomotiv Moscow fans thank West Brom for buying their Nigerian-Russian striker Peter Odemwingie – was tolerated for, but the fact that is was unfurled at all suggests that the Russian football authorities still have some work to do before hosting the rest of the world. You might be pleased to hear that an Odemwingie-less Lokomotiv lost 3-0 to Dynamo Moscow this weekend, while West Brom beat Sunderland 1-0 with Odemwingie scoring on his debut. Which suggests that Lokomotov fans are confused in more ways than one, because it’s West Brom fans who should be thanking them.

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World Cup 2010 Blog: Paul the Octopus Joins England World Cup Bid

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Paul the Octopus Joins England World Cup Bid Posted: 20 Aug 2010 07:18 AM PDT When I heard that Paul the Octopus was recording an album titled Paul the Octopus Sings Elvis, I cried a little for the state of the world. But I also took comfort in the fact that this whole octopus thing had reached a firm upper limit of bizarreness. Because things don’t get any weirder or stupider than a cephalopod mollusc who a) lives underwater and b) has no vocal cords, somehow recording an album. Of Elvis songs. I was of course wrong. Because Paul the Octopus has been made an ambassador for England’s 2018 World Cup bid. Yep, England’s. After Paul achieved his fame in a German tank predicting Germany’s results, he’s going to be the face of the England World Cup bid. My initial reaction is that this is typical of English football. England has no quality underwater ambassadors of their own, despite being mostly surrounded by water. There are of course some talented young barnacles in the English channel. But they lack experience. So the England World Cup bid has paid an expensive foreigner to perform its ambassadorial duties. However, turns out that – much like Simone Perrotta – Paul was actually born in England. Specifically in Weymouth: “Paul has spent the last two years of his life in Germany, but he is definitely a proud Englishman,” Weymouth Sea Life Center manager Nicola Hamilton said. “We have had a number of football approaches from around the world, but Paul was only ever going to choose his homeland.” Of course he was. And I’m sure Paul was fully involved in that decision. This might bring a bit of publicity to the England World Cup bid, but feels like a pretty tacky stunt to me, and one that could very easily backfire. How long before Paul pulls a Lord Triesman and gets trapped into predicting something terrible about the Russians by a tabloid journalist?

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World Cup 2010 Blog: Radomir Antic: Football’s Most Loved Employee

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Radomir Antic: Football’s Most Loved Employee Posted: 19 Aug 2010 01:39 PM PDT Most if not all, want to be loved and appreciated. Some even require it for the most basic of life’s relationships, be it personal, professional or otherwise. Serbian coach Radomir Antic is no such man. Love him, hate him, cut his pay – it matters not. He’ll still coach your team. At least when he’s not serving a fairly lengthy suspensions. The relationship was coming to an end, with Serbia looking elsewhere after the rather disappointing showing at the World Cup, and even with an impressive qualifying campaign in Antic’s rearview mirror. The Serbian FA could not find an adequate replacement for Antic, however, and decided in the end that it was simply best to keep him on – as Plan D or whatever. Something they didn’t mind at all sharing with the world. Serbia Football Association president Tomislav Karadzic said on Thursday that keeping Antic “is not the best solution, but we have no better candidate.” I’d love to see Karadzic’s marriage vows. “You’re not quite the girl of my dreams, but you’ll do.” And to reward Antic for showing up at a job where he isn’t really wanted, he’ll have his pay cut in half. Right down the middle. Granted, €50k a month is pretty decent by real life standards (as opposed to the fake football world ones), but still – 50% is 50%. So if you see Antic out there, give him a hug and remind him that someone does actually love him. And also point him in the general direction of some sales.

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World Cup 2010 Blog: “Nicolas Anelka Enjoys Comedy, Cannot Be Fired” plus 1 more

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Nicolas Anelka Enjoys Comedy, Cannot Be Fired Posted: 18 Aug 2010 02:25 PM PDT Yesterday Daryl pondered whether or not Nicolas Anelka’s international is over. Nicolas has weighed in on the subject himself, apparently being banned from Disqus as well as Les Bleus, going with the well-worn but undoubtedly effective “you can’t fire me, I quit!” – but probably in French. In other words: nothing’s changed since June. Anelka’s response: “Who told them that I wanted to play in blue again?” Anelka asked. “I should not even have been mentioned by this kind of commission. For me, ever since the South Africa World Cup, the French team is part of the past.” “For me, this whole thing with the commission is an aberration, a masquerade to make sure they don’t lose face,” he said. “They have punished a void, as Nicolas Anelka never existed in this pitiful and colourful affair. I repeat: the page with les Bleus was turned on 19 June when I was evicted from Knysna.” Referring to the French football authorities, he added: “They are real clowns, these people … I am doubled up with laughter.” Last I checked, clowns that make you laugh are generally a good think, particularly those of the French variety. His agent, meanwhile, has said that he was planning to quit all along, so the halftime outburst was just one last middle finger on the way out the international door. “With Nico, we had a very clear career plan,” he said. “The idea was that he would take his leave internationally after the World Cup, whatever its result, which ended up being the one that everyone knows.” And with that from his agent, our theory is confirmed: Nicolas was planning to play at least two more years, and this ban effectively retired him. The rest is simply the continuation of this French fiasco.

The Battle For Germany’s Soul Rages On Posted: 18 Aug 2010 10:30 AM PDT There are two things Michael Ballack doesn’t do: i. Win tournament finals. ii. Give up the German captaincy without a fight. Or a half-Nelson. When Ballack went down before the World Cup, the band was handed over to that 12 year old fullback from Munich and with a good bit of success, in the process deciding he doesn’t want to give it back. This displeases Michael Ballack. The grumbling in the press has gone on for weeks and it seems the only way to settle the matter is a steel cage match to the death, with the winner getting the band and a free Wii. Michael, like any good athlete, has already declared the winner before this landmark battle occurs, predictably crowning himself the victor. “For me, the matter is clear,” Ballack told Soccernet. “I’m the captain of Germany and intend to take on the role again when I’m fit. I can’t wait to lead Germany into the Euro 2012 qualifiers and make a success of it. I believe in myself as the captain and think I’ve the personality to do it. But the German public has spoken, and in resounding fashion: they want Lahm. German sports agency SID, an AFP subsidiary, authorised a poll which saw 60.3 percent of those surveyed say Bayern Munich defender Lahm should remain captain having led Germany to third at the World Cup. Only 26.2 percent of those polled thought Ballack, who missed the 2010 World Cup with an ankle injury, should be made captain for Germany’s first Euro 2012 qualifier against Belgium in Brussels on September 3. It means very little, but says so very much, and leads to the theory there’s only one way this will end up: in tears.

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