World Cup 2010 Blog: “Vuvuzela Earrings: The Perfect Christmas Gift” plus 1 more

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Vuvuzela Earrings: The Perfect Christmas Gift Posted: 11 Nov 2010 12:00 PM PST Looking for a Christmas gift for that special someone who loves football and isn’t picky about wearing plastic, possibly ridden with spittle, jewelery? Look no further than the vuvuzela earrings. These are the same earrings which won the design contest from a few days back, but this is the first glimpse we have of the actual product prototype. They’re…colorful. And yes, they’re actually going into mass(ish) production. I can’t imagine you’ll find these at Cartier anytime soon, though you can bet someone will try, but hey, it’s certainly a great improvement on their more popular use and they wouldn’t look at all out of place with a decent makarapa. (Also not to be found at fine, upstanding jewelers.)

Wang Dalei Suffers The Fate Of Football’s Future Posted: 11 Nov 2010 09:13 AM PST Today is a very, very sad day. Not 24 hours ago we had such promise on the footballing horizon in the form of Wang Dalei, a man who loved microblogging and we loved his candor. Since his soul pouring outrage he has been suspended indefinitely, been forced to issue an apology which sounds closer to castration and the entire blogging site has been shut down by Chinese authorities. Don’t they know they’re biting the hand that feeds? And all this when his “tirade” wasn’t even that bad. “I’m sorry for my ‘microblog things’. I want to say sorry for all the fans and reporters in China,” he said. “My childish and irresponsible words harmed the image of my team, the delegation and China’s sports.” “And I also pleaded to all the fans, especially the fans hurt by my words, to forgive me this time. Please understand me. We were not easy (in the tournament),” he added. And so continues the further sterilization of football interviews. The powers that be won’t be happy until everyone’s reading from preselected, preapproved answer cards which have shown not to upset women ages 18-45, men ages 32-59 and pygmy aeronautic engineers with cleft palettes. The whole sport’s going downhill.

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World Cup 2010 Blog: Wang Dalei, Microblogging Hero

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Wang Dalei, Microblogging Hero Posted: 10 Nov 2010 07:22 AM PST If you’re looking for a hero who hasn’t been shackled by the tragic bout of boring political correctness from which most footballers currently suffer, Wang Dalei is your man. And really, though we joke, every little guilty pleasure in football – the fights, the bribes, player candor, etc. – seems to be emanating from China. There might be something to this growing domestic superpower afterall. Wang’s candor has erupted into a small scandal, and it all stems from their 3-0 loss to Japan in the Asian Games on the weekend, particularly the second goal, which can be seen here. I mean, it’s not a good punch, that much is clear, but it’s certainly not the worst we’ve seen, not least with a current rash of inexplicable howlers sweeping the globe. (Honestly, who released the airborne pathogen which prevents goalkeepers from checking their surroundings?) Getting a verbal lashing from China’s 1 billion football critics, Wang responded in kind: A national TV commentator compared Wang to “volleyballer”, saying his save was amateur. Wang reacted by filling his microblog on a popular Internet portal with angry outbursts, calling Chinese soccer fans “morons” and reporters “haters of Chinese soccer”. “I heard that there are 7,000 professional soccer reporters (in China) and I guess 4,000 of them must hate soccer,” Wang wrote. “Is that really necessary? “I’m not a ‘Spiderman’. I punched the ball out, but you guys still laugh at me. I was beaten on the pitch and verbally abused off. Don’t say you know how to play soccer. Because you know nothing about it. “Go home and first count how many pieces of leather a football has. ‘Hit a person when he is down’, that’s what you bastards are doing. That’s why Chinese soccer is a mess.” He then confirmed his rant with his best rapper impression: “I didn’t use dirty words. If you think I did, that’s your problem,” said Wang after Tuesday’s training for next match against Kyrgyzstan. Wang then used dirty words to push across the point that he didn’t use dirty words. “I don’t give a shit to what other people would say. That’s who I am,” he added. Clearly we all need more Wang Dalei in our lives. And it sounds like we may get it, considering he’s been on trial with Man City, Inter and PSV. The day shall come.

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GMC Never Say Never Moments

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World Cup 2010 Blog: “WoZela: Return Of The Dreaded Vuvuzela” plus 1 more

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WoZela: Return Of The Dreaded Vuvuzela Posted: 09 Nov 2010 04:00 PM PST But with a catch: this time it’s about finding a use which doesn’t include making one’s ears bleed. A competition, WoZela!, was launched to find the best creative use of the vuvuzela, and the grand prize was announced today. The winning design probably had a helping hand in its method of construction, maybe even more so than its final product. It involves the cutting to pieces of a vuvuzela, which is music to the ears of many the world over. (Sorry.) This is the grand prize: hoop earrings made from a number of the cuts. Some are more useful for the grand scheme, like this idea for irrigating crops…. …or planting the crops in the first place… …while others are less useful, like this one for irrigating…yourself. (The aptly named ‘Boozela’.) I’m guessing the last one comes in a two-fer package with this splashback guard. No matter the scenario, even when trying to turn evil into good, pee jokes are never far behind. The future is bright.

What’s Domenech Up To These Days? Posted: 09 Nov 2010 08:33 AM PST You know, aside from suing the bejeezus out of the FFF for his €2.9m in what he thinks is owed salary. Turns out he's been in hanging in Thailand since his minor faux pas known as Sept. '06-June '10 (does he even get a smidge of credit for WC06 or is that all Zidane by now?) in another unapologetic cash grab; honing his skills, perfecting his art, becoming one with the poker table. Clearly an advertisement, but it's plausible he spent the last few months hiding out in the jungles of Southeastern Asia. But you wonder how on earth could a brand think that using Rayray as a spokesman would reflect positively upon itself at this point. Or does the betting industry not even care? The more villainous the better.

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