Saturday, June 9, 2012

World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Full Euro 2012 Opening Ceremonies” plus 2 more

World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Full Euro 2012 Opening Ceremonies” plus 2 more

Link to International Football News - World Cup Blog

The Full Euro 2012 Opening Ceremonies

Posted: 08 Jun 2012 12:10 PM PDT

For those unable to watch the most pointless ceremony in football outside of the Ballon d’Or awards 2009-____, here are your festivities from Warsaw.

The good news is the whole thing didn’t collapse, necessitating an earlier start on the Poland – Greece fixture. The bad news is the same. Not simply because it to be a horror for the eyes – no. It’s because we live in a world with Michael Bay, and for some reason, none one’s made it happen yet.

Another, from right before the Ukrainian premier between Russian and the Czech Republic, should be up shortly.


Reasons To Cause Controversy: Euro 2012 Opener

Posted: 08 Jun 2012 11:37 AM PDT

The greater the tournament’s stature, the lower the threshold for death-threat inducing refereeing decisions. Plus it’s just fun to cause problems from time to time.

The opener between Greece and Poland had a couple such scenarios, with an early red card (two yellows) for the men in blue that was pretty suspect, but more importantly: that damn handball in the box. Was it intentional? Nope. Is slap-handling a ball in the box in any way cool? Nope. Unfortunate happenings can be penalties too.

But it’s a good thing this wasn’t against the co-hosts or anything, because they never get favorable decisions…

[101gg]


Ukraine’s Psychic Pig Oinks

Posted: 08 Jun 2012 09:08 AM PDT

psychic-lit1

The games have opened within the last five minutes, but it’s worth announcing the psychic swine’s predictions of undoubted prescience for the upcoming games:

The “psychic” pig promoted by European championship co-hosts Ukraine as a successor to Paul the octopus made its first predictions about upcoming games on Friday, picking Poland and Russia as winners.

Similarly, the pig, which now lives in the “fan zone” in downtown Kiev, made its predictions on Friday by choosing between pairs of bowls containing corn pops.

The pig, nicknamed Foontik by local fans, picked the bowls with Polish and Russian flags.

Update: Oink-for-one.

(Apologies.)


Friday, June 8, 2012

World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Euro 2012 Traffic Report: Thataway” plus 2 more

World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Euro 2012 Traffic Report: Thataway” plus 2 more

Link to International Football News - World Cup Blog

The Euro 2012 Traffic Report: Thataway

Posted: 07 Jun 2012 11:59 AM PDT

sbnation-logo-black_large

As you may know, SBNation picked up The Offside & WCB last year(quick – up top and to the right). While awaiting the full switch-over (it’s a process), as a way of simply keeping things ticking, updates do arrive on these shores from time to time and will continue to do so throughout the tournament. (Mmhmm.) But, they are – Vox Media, really – the overlords, doin’ all the big things, being all mainstream and stuff. Outside of the excellent ladies and gents to your right, as you already well know, they’ll be covering the hryvnia out of the Euros, so here’s a link to the specific European Championships 2012 coverage and you should spend the rest of your day risking unemployment by absorbing all that good European football info before your brain melts come kickoff tomorrow.

And yes, they’re excellent. You should be there anyway.

Whatsamattayou?


Now Standing: ‘Roy the Redeemer’

Posted: 07 Jun 2012 10:43 AM PDT

Roy the Redeemer 6

This is marketing genius at its finest, surely.

What is the most ludicrously asinine thing one could do, well, ever? How ’bout erecting a temporary 100ft structure depicting Roy Hodgson as England’s Christ the Redeemer on the shores of Dover, facing France with some ‘tude.

Paddy Power went and did it, which is just about the best damn ad campaign ever. And make no mistake: if England wins, a mecca it shall become.

pb-120607-roy-reedemer-ps1.photoblog900


The Long Chomp Of Hooliganism Defense

Posted: 07 Jun 2012 10:34 AM PDT

headtiltWith the games kicking off in less than 24 hours now, many fine upstanding young hooligans are preparing for their days of glory. The fan zone could soon become a war zone, considering some of the host cities have behavioral issues to say the least. The police, particularly those in Krakow, have unfurled the whole bag of tricks to reveal video game-type tactics on the other end.

“Krakow has a long history of hooligan violence — the local police have seen it all before and they will ruin your day if you try it on.

“These lads’ mums and dads rioted under Soviet machine guns — a few chairs thrown by beered-up fans is not going to intimidate them.

“Do not expect softly, softly police tactics.

“Poland’s anti-hooligan squads are armed with: Shotguns firing baton rounds that probably won’t kill you as long as you’re 30m away, a truck-mounted water cannon affectionately known as 'the typhoon’, a high-tech sonic cannon that can make you wet yourself on its lowest setting, dogs trained to bite you directly in the testicles.”

So that’s…

A protective gentleman’s cup.
Ear plugs.
Wet suit.
An extra pair of undies.
Tape measure.

Just as one would expect of the hooligan’s survival kit.