World Cup 2010 Blog: Reasons To Love (and Hate) All the teams in South Africa | ![]() |
Reasons To Love (and Hate) All the teams in South Africa Posted: 24 Apr 2010 06:26 AM PDT
Either way, you need someone. And what follows is a simple print off and then cut out and keep and lose it and wish you’d never printed it off in the first place guide to all the teams in South Africa and reasons why you should love them, and hate them. Please bear in mind this is a bit of fun, and if this causes people to be outraged and start serious arguments, I may lose my faith in humanity altogether. Group A South Africa Loathe Them Because: They’re already really good at Rugby and Cricket, they don’t need another string to their bow. France Loathe Them Because: How they got to this World Cup for starters. Never mind the whole Franck Ribery et al affair rumbling on at the moment. Mexico Loathe Them Because: No-one can resist caricaturing a Mexican while they’re playing. (Again, maybe just me?) Uruguay Loathe Them Because: When was the last time you won one guys? Resting on your laurels a bit there. Group B Argentina Loathe them Because: Maradona. Simply, he’s the worst manager on the planet. And not a nice guy. Nigeria Loathe Them Because: Jay-Jay Okocha has retired. South Korea Loathe Them Because: Spain and Italy fans won’t need reminding how everything seemed to conspire for them in that World Cup. Greece Loathe Them Because: They played the most teeth grindingly dull football doing it. Group C England Loathe them Because: The less than cuddly squad includes Steven Gerrard, Ashley Cole, John Terry etc etc U.S.A Loathe them Because: Frankly 99% of America doesn’t care, and likely never will. Algeria Loathe them Because: They did sort of get battered by Egypt in the African Cup of Nations, which doesn’t bode well. Slovenia Loathe Them Because: Everyone who doesn’t know much about football (but mysteriously becomes an expert by June) will constantly mix them up with Slovakia untill you literally throttle them. Group D Germany Loathe them Because: They always win on penalties. How are you doing it Germany? Holland and England would love to know. Australia Loathe them Because: See South Africa. Serbia Loathe them Because: France not winning the group led to that whole Thierry Henry thing. That did get annoying quickly. Ghana Loathe Them Because: How many minutes before you feel really sick watching the team run around in these? Group E Holland Loathe them Because: Still complaining about 1974? Its time to move on guys. Denmark Loathe them Because: They days of the Laudrups and Schmeichels is well over alas. Japan Loathe them Because: They are playing a match approximately every 17 minutes in the run up to the World Cup, which may mean you are bored of them by then. Cameroon Loathe them Because: Their kit this time is surprisingly not controversial. Group F Loathe them Because: They have (mostly) all already got a World Cup winners medal. They don’t need another. Paraguay: Loathe them Because: José Luis Chilavert, the worlds most entertaining goalkeeper, is now merely a coach. Presumably a free-kick coach. New Zealand Loathe them Because: Like Australia and South Africa they already dominate other sports, particularly Rugby in this case, where they are comparable to Brazil. Slovakia Loathe them Because: See Slovenia. Group G
Loathe them Because: They are a bit show-offy. And they’ve won it plenty of times before. And their players do insist of wearing gloves if the temperature drops below 70 degrees. North Korea Loathe them Because: Because of their political status, it would be a nightmare logistically for them to meet any number of teams. The Ivory Coast/Côte d’Ivoire Loathe them Because: They showed at the African Cup of Nations they don’t like it when the going gets tough. Which it will. Portugal Loathe them Because: In Ronaldo they have one of the most annoying players on Earth, and that is not what the World Cup is about. Group H
Loathe them Because: No-one wants anyone to get too far ahead of themselves, eh? Switzerland Loathe them Because: That damned neutrality. You know they wouldn’t pick a team when theirs gets knocked out. Honduras Loathe them because: That away kit. Chile Loathe them Because: They might not want to play Brazil considering what happened in 1998. |
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