World Cup 2010 Blog: Reasons To Love (and Hate) All the teams in South Africa

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Reasons To Love (and Hate) All the teams in South Africa Posted: 24 Apr 2010 06:26 AM PDT So with the World Cup coming up, many of you will be looking for a team to follow either as a second team when your team inevitably gets knocked out in the Quarter Finals on Penalties (perhaps that one is just me) or because your team didn’t make it to South Africa. Either way, at some point you are going to need someone to follow. Often this is irrational and you just like a team. Sometimes you need a reason, sometimes you just inexplicably hate someone, or maybe they have a player you like from the club you follow. Either way, you need someone. And what follows is a simple print off and then cut out and keep and lose it and wish you’d never printed it off in the first place guide to all the teams in South Africa and reasons why you should love them, and hate them. Please bear in mind this is a bit of fun, and if this causes people to be outraged and start serious arguments, I may lose my faith in humanity altogether. Group A South Africa Love them Becuase: They are the hosts, and it is always quite nice when the hosts don’t lose interest in the tournament they are supposed to be hosting in the first week. Loathe Them Because: They’re already really good at Rugby and Cricket, they don’t need another string to their bow. France Love them Becuase: This whole World Cup thing was largely their idea in the first place. Loathe Them Because: How they got to this World Cup for starters. Never mind the whole Franck Ribery et al affair rumbling on at the moment. Mexico Love Them Because: They managed to get to the World Cup despite Sven. Loathe Them Because: No-one can resist caricaturing a Mexican while they’re playing. (Again, maybe just me?) Uruguay Love Them Because: They can forever hold the fact that they won the first World Cup over Brazil and Argentina. Loathe Them Because: When was the last time you won one guys? Resting on your laurels a bit there. Group B Argentina Love them Because: Messi. Simply he’s the best player on the planet, and a nice lad. Loathe them Because: Maradona. Simply, he’s the worst manager on the planet. And not a nice guy. Nigeria Love Them Because: They gave us Jay-Jay Okocha. Loathe Them Because: Jay-Jay Okocha has retired. South Korea Love Them Because: They made one of the great small team stories of recent times in 2002. Loathe Them Because: Spain and Italy fans won’t need reminding how everything seemed to conspire for them in that World Cup. Greece Love Them Because: In 2004 they topped South Korea’s little team story by going on to win the Euros out of absolutely nowhere. Loathe Them Because: They played the most teeth grindingly dull football doing it. Group C England Love them Because: This beautiful game (and its spread all over the world) is an English invention. Loathe them Because: The less than cuddly squad includes Steven Gerrard, Ashley Cole, John Terry etc etc U.S.A Love them Because: It would be a success story if Football actually made it over there. Loathe them Because: Frankly 99% of America doesn’t care, and likely never will. Algeria Love them Because: They produced one of THE qualifying moments to get to this tournament. Loathe them Because: They did sort of get battered by Egypt in the African Cup of Nations, which doesn’t bode well. Slovenia Love them Because: Best shirt at the World Cup. Loathe Them Because: Everyone who doesn’t know much about football (but mysteriously becomes an expert by June) will constantly mix them up with Slovakia untill you literally throttle them. Group D Germany Love them Because: Secretly, they have a wicked sense of humour. Loathe them Because: They always win on penalties. How are you doing it Germany? Holland and England would love to know. Australia Love them Because: They are called the Socceroos. Which is amazing. Loathe them Because: See South Africa. Serbia Love them Because: They qualified ahead of France, which for a shiny new country is marvellous. Loathe them Because: France not winning the group led to that whole Thierry Henry thing. That did get annoying quickly. Ghana Love them Because: Its an African World Cup, lets get behind the African teams, and Ghana are possibly the best hope. Loathe Them Because: How many minutes before you feel really sick watching the team run around in these? Group E Holland Love them Because: They invented Total Football and gave us, Cruyff, Neeskens, Van Basten, Guillit, Rykaard, Bergkamp. And they’ve still never won it. About time eh? Loathe them Because: Still complaining about 1974? Its time to move on guys. Denmark Love them Because: At Euro 92, they managed to win a tournament without even qualifying. That’s quite special. Loathe them Because: They days of the Laudrups and Schmeichels is well over alas. Japan Love them Because: If their team goes out, they choose another one and get behind it. Which is sort of the inspiration behind all this. Loathe them Because: They are playing a match approximately every 17 minutes in the run up to the World Cup, which may mean you are bored of them by then. Cameroon Love them Because: With Roger Milla, they got the ball rolling for African sides on the big stage. Loathe them Because: Their kit this time is surprisingly not controversial. Group F Italy Love them because: They are (mostly, sorry Rino) all really good looking with really nice hair. Especially Pirlo. Loathe them Because: They have (mostly) all already got a World Cup winners medal. They don’t need another. Paraguay: Love them because: The underdog factor – they’ve never been further than the Round of 16. Loathe them Because: José Luis Chilavert, the worlds most entertaining goalkeeper, is now merely a coach. Presumably a free-kick coach. New Zealand Love them Because: The extreme underdog factor. If they win anything in South Africa it’ll be a massive success. Loathe them Because: Like Australia and South Africa they already dominate other sports, particularly Rugby in this case, where they are comparable to Brazil. Slovakia Love them Because: Its their first world cup as an independent nation, which is reason to cheer them, I think. Loathe them Because: See Slovenia. Group G Brazil Love them Because: Well, England might have invented the game, but no-one perfected it like Brazil. Loathe them Because: They are a bit show-offy. And they’ve won it plenty of times before. And their players do insist of wearing gloves if the temperature drops below 70 degrees. North Korea Love them Because: Because of their status politically, there is a number of teams it would be really funny for them to meet. Loathe them Because: Because of their political status, it would be a nightmare logistically for them to meet any number of teams. The Ivory Coast/Côte d’Ivoire Love them Because: They are, on paper Africa’s best chance at the World Cup. Loathe them Because: They showed at the African Cup of Nations they don’t like it when the going gets tough. Which it will. Portugal Love them Because: In Ronaldo they have one of the best players on Earth, and that is what the World Cup is all about. Loathe them Because: In Ronaldo they have one of the most annoying players on Earth, and that is not what the World Cup is about. Group H Spain Love them Because: They play beautiful football no doubt, and have a mouth watering attacking line. Loathe them Because: No-one wants anyone to get too far ahead of themselves, eh? Switzerland Love them Because: They had a really miserable time hosting Euro 2008. They could do with something to bounce back with. Loathe them Because: That damned neutrality. You know they wouldn’t pick a team when theirs gets knocked out. Honduras Love them because: They need all the help they can get against Spain. Loathe them because: That away kit. Chile Love them Because: If they get through, they may face Brazil, and everyone loves a big rivalry on the big stage. Loathe them Because: They might not want to play Brazil considering what happened in 1998.

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