World Cup 2010 Blog: “The Nike Ad That Came Before The Nike Ad” plus 3 more | ![]() |
- The Nike Ad That Came Before The Nike Ad
- The Maradona Files: Diego’s Royal Bidet
- Mathieu Valbuena: The World Cup’s 40 Year Old Virgin?
- Slovakia: The Born-Again World Cup Virgin
The Nike Ad That Came Before The Nike Ad Posted: 24 May 2010 01:40 AM PDT In the real world, it’s awfully rare that I come across anything football-related in my travels, and yet I simply have not been able to escape That Nike Ad for the last week – obviously for good reason. The YouTube embed is positively everywhere, in the most obscure, unsporting of places, putting the virus into viral, and causing nightmares of Wayne Rooney doing Brad Pitt’s accent from Snatch. But before there was That Nike Ad by Wieden + Kennedy, there was Bloed Oranje by the same outfit, which makes no bones in calling out the 1974 Dutch edition. And it’s just as good. Bloed Oranje is a Dutch campaign for South Africa 2010, one which culminated in a patriotic assault on The Dam in Amsterdam declaring the World Cup trophy already spoken for (bezet = taken). I went to the website for bloedoranje and…spoilers ahead… …it’s the KNVB official website. (Eventually.) High praise for such anarchy from the men upstairs, even if the permits were folded crisply into their back pockets and even the sticky stuff from the tape removed before anyone really knew what’d happened. |
The Maradona Files: Diego’s Royal Bidet Posted: 24 May 2010 12:10 AM PDT
At least he’s had the good sense to finally wash out his mouth.
For those of you who are brave enough to come toe-to-toe with a mental image of Diego on the pot, do read on:
Therefore he’ll have hot air blown up his ass even while taking care of business. You really couldn’t make this stuff if you wanted to. That’s not all, however, for Diego’s crew or the rest of the divas at the World Cup.
Judging by the look of a braai, it’s a wonder Diego didn’t request a firehose on standby – “break glass in case of emergency” and all that. And we can EXCLUSIVELY reveal Diego has hired the Ice Cream Kid as Argentina’s team dietitian. In other Mariah Carey news: - Brazil request the pool be set at a firm 32C, along with “hot hot coffee, hot hot coffee and hot hot coffee, a lot of cookies – and no chocolate”, leading to rumors Ronaldinho might actually be called up. You know, they make it seem like everyone’s cutting vacations short for the World Cup, but it sounds suspiciously like everyone’s going on vacation. |
Mathieu Valbuena: The World Cup’s 40 Year Old Virgin? Posted: 23 May 2010 10:16 AM PDT Welcome to Domenech’s world Valbuena! You are in for a long, bumpy ride… To my knowledge (which I will admit, is not exhaustive), there are no 40 year olds playing in the World Cup this summer. Even Italy isn’t that desperate or naive, at least this summer (though I’m sure they would call Maldini if they thought he would actually come!). But, football years are kind of like dog years, meaning that the threshhold for what is considered “old” is actually relatively young. This is especially true in France, which has a strong youth training academy. If players aren’t integrated into the national team set-up at a fairly young age, the chances of them getting called-up later is almost non-existant. It’s even more strange to call-up a player to the World Cup that has not only never been capped, but hasn’t even been called-up before at any level (youth teams included). But in South Africa this summer, Mathieu Valbuena has managed to overcome his lack of international caps, and has the opportunity to represent France for the first time in his career this summer. Mathieu Valbuena (France, Marseille) Birthday: September 28, 1984 (25 years) International Caps: 0 Mathieu Valbuena (aka the Small Bike, Leprachaun or Elf) started his career with Ligue 1’s Bordeaux, but he was dropped because of his height (5′5″). From there, he moved to the lower divisions in France where his exploits earned him the title of Ligue 2 Player of the Year in 2006 and a contract with Olympique de Marseille. His return to Ligue 1 was delayed by injuries, but eventually he won over the Marseille fans with his tenacious style, speed and goal scoring ability. This was no small feat considering he was charged with the task of filling the big shoes left by Ribery when he left Marseille for Bayern. And though Valbuena is not the type of player to score 15+ a season, he has developed a knack for scoring goals when Marseille needs them the most. The most famous, of course, is his game winning goal at Anfield against Liverpool in the Champions League (see video below). Given Valbuena’s contributions to the club over the past few years, it was surprising when Deschamps declared at the beginning of the 09/10 season that Valbuena services were no longer needed at Marseille. At first it looked like Valbuena would not be playing at Marseille this season, but the transfer window passed without a deal being reached with any other clubs. Still, Deschamps used Valbuena sparingly and their relationship continued to deteriorate- culminating in Matthieu publicly criticizing Deschamps in interviews with the French press. However, by chance, Valbuena was able to get more starting opportunities in Marseille’s side through injuries, suspensions and poor form of Marseille’s other attacking options (Niang, Brandao, Kone and Ben Arfa). And he used these opportunities to his advantage, playing a huge role in Marseille’s Ligue 1 title win this season and finally earning himself a callup from Raymond Domenech to represent France this summer at the World Cup. As a France and Marseille fan, I’m thrilled that Valbuena is finally getting the opportunity to showcase his skills on a bigger stage. I’m sure he won’t be a starter in Domenech’s Starting XI (unless something goes tragically wrong…not entirely unlikely given our luck)- but I think his biggest contributions to the team will be off the field. Valbuena was chosen over France’s more established, younger and talented Samir Nasri and Hatem Ben Arfa because he brings something to the team neither of those players have managed to do: a good attitude. Valbuena is just happy to be included and is willing to do anything it takes to make sure he doesn’t mess up this oppotunity or ruffle any feathers. In short, his desire to please both Domenech and his other teammates will be a welcome change from the moody teenage angst often associated with the French youngsters. I would be interested to know if any of our reader’s favorite teams will be taking any 40 year old virgins to the World Cup this summer- or are France the only team brave enough (or desperate enough) to try something new this summer? |
Slovakia: The Born-Again World Cup Virgin Posted: 23 May 2010 08:40 AM PDT Slovkia teammates Martin Skrtel and Jan Durica celebrate after beating their former countrymen from the Czech Republic. When Slovakia arrives in South Africa this summer, they will be the sole World Cup virgin in the tournament. Technically. For those who either failed European History or failed to keep up with current events since they took European History, Slovakia use to be part of a former European football powerhouse: Czechoslovakia (Euro: 3rd in 1980, Champions 1976, 3rd in 1960; World Cup: Quarters 1990, Final 1962, Quarters 1938, Finals 1934). Though the countries split peacefully in 1993 in what is known as the “Velvet Divorce,” they actually played together in the qualification campaign for the 1994 World Cup in a united team creatively named “Representatives of Czechs and Slovaks.” However, the team failed to qualify and after 1994 the sports teams were officially split. The Czech Republic rebounded quickly, finishing as runner up at Euro ‘96. And though their results have been mixed since 1996, the Czech Republic lost their World Cup virginity at World Cup 2006 in Germany. Ironically, though first World Cup opponent USA was technically the more experienced of the two, the Czech Republic definitely delivered the better performance and earned a 3-0 win. While the Czech Republic, if only inconsistently, reminded the world of the their potent ability – Slovakia remained hidden in their shadow until their emergence as the top team in UEFA Group 3 of the World Cup qualifying campaign. The group, which pitted Slovakia against their former countrymen, the Czech Republic as well as regional rivals Slovenia and Poland and Northern Ireland. (NOTE: Apparently San Marino was also in that group…but if you only score 1 goal, allow 47 goals against and lose every game, does that really count as participating?) Slovakia’s qualifying numbers and stats are impressive. Though, let’s be honest, the number of past conquests don’t usually accurately describe the actual form and ability of the teams in question or allow you to predict how they will perform under pressure…but, when looking at their group- it seems like there is a real possibility they could make it past the initial group stage. After all, there are other factors to consider- pressure, injuries, fatigue, mentality, confidence etc- to detemine how they will perform when it counts. But for World Cup virgins, one of those factors is the status of the “underdog.” The title has the power to motivate the team and place more pressure on the shoulders of the more experienced opposition. Underdogs are easy to like since they haven’t been on the big stage long enough to piss people off and they tend to be pretty respectful and lack the obnoxious cocky attitude. Spectators that aren’t explicit fans of the opposition tend to root for the underdog by default, people love a good upset because it makes a dramatic story, Slovakia will be motivated in each World Cup match to prove themselves and, let’s be honest, they don’t really have anything to lose- no one expects them to win. Slovakia also demonstrated serious perseverance during their qualification campaign- so I doubt they will be easily broken down- either mentally or physically. The Slovakian campaign was hardly smooth- they lost twice to Slovenia and qualified as first on their final match against Poland where they triumphed 1-0. This display of maturity and determination suggests that, despite their recently rediscovered World Cup naivete, they may have the mental conditioning to succeed this summer in Africa. If they do so-they will join an elite group of teams that managed to make a stunning debut in their first World Cup… Previous Successful Former World Cup Virgins Senegal, The Vengeful Virgin: Senegal made it to the quarterfinals at their first World Cup in 2002. This deal was sweetened by their famous win over its former colonial holder and (at the time) current reigning World Cup Champions, France, in game 1. Now, this revenge probably didn’t heal all Senegal’s colonial wounds…but it certainly helped at least for a short period of time. For more on Senegal’s 2002 World Cup journey- check out this review from Zonal Marking. Nigeria, The Well-Coached Virgin: Nigeria qualified for the knock-out stages in the 1994 World Cup edition held in the US ahead of Argentina (the Maradona Drug Suspension Edition) and Bulgaria (the Hristo Stoichkov edition). The “golden age” of Nigerian football was ushered in by the work of Clemens Westerhof, is not only credited with introducing Nigeria’s most famous players to the world stage but also with demonstrating the potential of African football. Ireland, The Beginners Luck Virgin: Ireland may have used up all their luck in 1990 when they landed themselves in the quarterfinal. Their group performance consisted of three close draws against England, Egypt and the Netherlands- which allowed them to qualify for the first knock-out round versus Romania. Like their games at the group stage, this was a close game that came down to penalties. In the end, Ireland’s keeper produced a lucky save to put the Irish in the quarters where they eventually lost to Italy. For more information on Slovakia and how the team is preparing for this summer, check out the Slovakia blog! |
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