Alhaji Righteous De Ambitious: World Cup 2010 Blog: “The All Non-World Cup XI” plus 2 more

Friday, February 12, 2010

World Cup 2010 Blog: “The All Non-World Cup XI” plus 2 more

The All Non-World Cup XI
Yes, This Man Is Running The World Cup™: Sepp Blatter.
This Lucky Lucky Fan Will Soon be a World Cup Record Holder

Posted: 12 Feb 2010 02:40 AM PST

arsenal_andrei_arshavin_face_skysports There was a very real chance in recent months that Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, ~~arguably~~ ~~possibly~~ the two best players in the world, wouldn’t be making the trek to the football’s greatest showcase this summer. What would’ve been a huge blow to the tournament – a huge blow to the game – was narrowly averted and both will be dazzling.

Others, however, weren’t so lucky and South Africa will be devoid of some big names and, in the case of a few, bigger personalities. Their loss is our loss.

Obviously these aren’t the XI best players who won’t be going to South Africa – that will only be determined oncee squads are announced – and they likely aren’t even the best XI players whose country didn’t make the World Cup. But we tried…

The All Non-World Cup XI:

Petr Cech
Vedran Corluka, A Belgian, Cristian Chivu, Yuri Zhirkov
Darijo Srna, Mohamed Aboutrika, Seydou Keita, Luka Modric
Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Andrei Arshavin

Goalkeeper: Petr Cech. It was largely a toss up between Akinfeev and Cech, but Petr gets the nod for form and for continuing to rock the helmet with style.

Rightback: Vedran Corluka. Slaven Bilic once called him the best rightback in the world. He’s not, but he’s good enough.

Centerback: A Belgian. It was Thomas Vermaelen but, despite the goals, after watching Jan Vertonghen this year, Arsenal may have bought the wrong Belgian centerback from Ajax. Strong at the back and silky smooth through the middle, which should land him on Barca or Real’s roster soon enough. Then there’s Vincent Kompany, phenom since, oh, the beginning of time, finally in form at Man City. Pick a Belgian – you probably can’t go wrong.

Centerback: Cristian Chivu. Sami Hyypia so nearly pipped this spot for shepherding Bayer Leverkusen to the top of the table, but Chivu is, when on his game, a world class defender.

Leftback: Yuri Zhirkov. Now that Ashley Cole’s ankle is cooked, Yuri will finally have his chance to shine in London. And by shine, it means ‘run faster than everyone else’. South Africa will miss his blurry runs from the back.

Rightwing: Darijo Srna. Free kicks: check. Crossing: check. Armband: check. Like Beckham’s right foot on a footballer who can do a bunch of other stuff, too.

Central mid: Seydou Keita. Good enough for Barcelona, good enough for us.

Central mid: Mohammed Aboutrika. The best player in Africa should be at the biggest tournament in Africa, simply.

Leftwing: Luka Modric. One of the smartest footballers in all the world – perhaps the biggest ping of disappointment given all he brings to the game for connoisseurs.

Striker: Zlatan Ibrahimovic. There’s every chance he’s right behind Lionel and Cristiano on the list of the world’s best players. And there’s every chance he would’ve disappointed for Sweden, again. But there’s also every chance he could’ve pulled off something like this, which would’ve made it all worth it.

Striker: Andriy Arshavin. It is a tragedy on par with the death of a loved one that Andriy’s skills won’t be in South Africa. That he won’t be fielding media interviews daily makes one question the very will to live.

Yes, This Man Is Running The World Cup™: Sepp Blatter.

Posted: 12 Feb 2010 12:10 AM PST

blatter Were there to be an award for the least intelligent man alive, Sepp Blatter would be lapping the field by the turn. Not a week goes by without some sort of head-turning comment which defies all logical reason coming from Zurich or thereabouts. And this is the man running the biggest football organization – perhaps the even the biggest sporting organization – in the whole wide world.

So when he was asked about The John Terry Chronicles, pandemonium was bound to fly. Sepp did not disappoint.

There’s no way to set this up. Sepp at his finest:

“Listen, this is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries,” he said. “If this had happened in let’s say Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded.”

Because in Latin countries, adultery is not only acceptable, but laudable. Because their moral standards are of such bedrock levels, violating one of life’s most sacred pacts is encouraged. This must mean theft is cool, murder just isn’t that bad and rape gets a bad rap.

How this man can function in the real world is simply unfathomable. How he’s been voted into office multiple times is simple beyond comprehension…if not legality.

This Lucky Lucky Fan Will Soon be a World Cup Record Holder

Posted: 11 Feb 2010 11:39 AM PST

1168344_large The man in the picture there is football fan Thulani Ngcobo, and by July 11th, 2010 he should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having watched the most matches in a single World Cup tournament.

Ngcobo, 29, won a competition held by one of the the World Cup’s many sponsors, to find the number one soccer fan in South Africa. As the winner he’ll be going to a whopping 38 of World Cup 2010’s 64 matches, and – assuming he survives seeing that much football without exploding – he’ll have seen more live games from a single tournament than anyone ever. The current record is 20 matches.

Ngcobo didn’t win the competition accidentally. The Kaizer Chiefs fan emerged victorious in the Last Fan Standing competition in South Africa, with the public voting him #1.

“I won a very tough competition but I cannot claim to be the number one football fan in the country,” said a modest Ngcobo. “I don’t know what it takes to be considered as such.”

So now – according to sponsors MTN – Ngcobo will see 38 live games in 31 days, taking in 9 cities, 10 stadiums, 3,420 minutes of football and 17,000 km of travel. With tickets, travel and accommodation all paid for by MTN. I’m officially jealous.

It’s very easy (and usually very worthwhile) to be completely dismissive of the World Cup’s corporate sponsors. For the most part, they add nothing to the event, and usually take away fans’ freedom to choose a rival product on gameday (thirsty World Cup 2006 fans were forcefed Budweiser for example). But in this case it’s genuinely hard to find fault. I’m sure Thulani Ngcobo would agree.